The Autobiography of Commie Lee Speed

As told to Diallo Tyson


“Dude, I gotta go.”

“I told you—we ain’t stoppin’ until we get back to campus.”

“Dude!  Fuck it.  Hey Mike, open the door.”


“I gotta piss, so either open the door or take off your shoes.”

So the night just got weirder and weirder.  It must’ve been some sight.  A white van driving down the highway, doing eighty, with the door open, and a drunk-ass college student pissing across the wind.  Who knows how many windshields were addressed with Hennesy-induced urine?  Who cared?  I know I didn’t.  I was glad my damn bladder didn’t explode inside me.  I was also trying to make sense of the night and figure out where to go from there. (more…)